Mindful Listening, Rain and Painful knees

It's been so good.

I've not been thinking or doing anything else but Walk and Play....Walking the dog and Playing harp. Trying out new repertoire, finding out I don't remember all the old repertoire, looking up, listening... ...it's been really, really good...no walks under an hour. Tuning, endless, endless tuning and the silence and pace of live improvised on a theme like a Medieval Ave... ...I'm fascinated by the way time passes when all you're focussing on is the quality of the sound of each stroke, pluck, jerk of each string and the reaction of the strings around it...the echo of the soundboard... ...It makes me feel good... ...

But you can't just listen and write about sound and what you do with it all day. Guide Dog Yeltsin likes the longer walks... ...and when it doesn't happen and walk brings him home sooner rather than later and lays there moaning a little often, jumping up every time anyone gets up.

It's been raining all morning but then it cleared up and now...now it is misty, low clouds, and there is wind...worst case scenario I'll get wet.

And that is what happens.

We set out towards Ring. I'm not warm yet and am feeling a little cold. It isn't cold but my bones are saying it is... ...I can see light on the other side of Inchydony Island.

'Maybe I'll have sun later...' hasn't passed my lips when the drops start coming down big and hard... ...

'Surely you're not going to stop now... you're only getting warmed up... ...this is what it's going to be like, there's going to be rain nearly every day of the winter and that is going to make you stop walking because?... If you give up now what's the point in talking about it anymore?... ...you have to push...just a little harder.... ....'

We turn off toward Darrara and the rain resumed with increased vigor... ...

'Don't stop...not for rain.'

There's water running down my neck, jeans...worst wear for walking... ...feet drenched... ...but the bottom of my back is warm and dry.

Walking up to Darrara church I consider turning up and back... ...

'If it stops raining when I come to the church... ...I'll go on... ...'

It isn't dry but I go on... ...uncomfortable...uncomfortable bearable but uncomfortable and aware. Aware that I'm out of practice... ...aware that if the weather had been colder I would not just be uncomfortable.

I don't go all the way to Timoleague... ...my head is giving me such a hard time that it is time to turn around and head home... we walk uphill and around... ...closer to town just above Darrara on the R600 the water starts pouring down again. Traffic is regular enough and they're not slowing down or sparing me in any way. A man stops to ask if I need a lift. I say no. He shakes his head and goes on.

It's crazy. All of it...they're getting in my head. The whole thing in my head. And as I walk down towards the N71 my knees start to hurt. I'm so tired and distraught when I get back. What am I thinking?


I am thinking:


I've never walked in anything but warm conditions. So I need to learn to walk in rain and cold.

When I walk in difficult conditions it is better for me to avoid main routes because of traffic.

Traffic is not out to get me but when I'm uncomfortable and others are mindless it starts to bother me and it gets in my head. If I'm going to get wet I don't mind nature pissing on me or me sinking into a bog...that's all part of the walking. Cars are not. when I walk I need to have my head in the walking.

Glucosamine. I need to start taking it again. The painful knees are a symptom of not being strong enough yet. Practice, practice, practice... ....enough.... ....but never too much (cause that's where the real injuries lie).


It is easy to forget that challenging your body is never going to be straightforward, easy or painless...

Plans, Yoga and Music/Sound/ Mindful Listening Meditation

Time to think a little more about the other things I want to do in my quest to share harp music.

I'm always interested in working with other souls with a preference for cross discipline type like I did with 'Catch the Moon' and 'Gifted Eccentrics'. The harp working along side poets reading or performing their work, supporting, holding, ringing.

Are there others I'd like to share 'working with'?

What about other practices of self-expression?

What is the practice I need to do to be my best at walking and playing?

Plans

Be who you truly are, fulfill your potential. 

For that you need a clear free head and a strong, healthy body. 

Plan: Meditate and practice Yoga.

Yoga

Preferably done by one and all to the body flexible and strong. 

My wish is to play alongside a practitioner... ...because that is the way to explore sound...to observe and react; to be there and watch the unfolding of the poses while carrying the flow and heartbeat... ...to be present... ...to create... ... to express that moment.

My plan: is to practice yoga... ...to practice is my plan... ...yoga practice...is my... ...plan.

Music/Sound/Mindful Listening Meditation

Meditation. The practice of being present. To live in the now.

There's a lot of what is called Meditation Music about. But in meditation music isn't used to focus the mind. There is too much repetition and it will make the mind run cartwheels. Tibetan Bells are used.... ....listening to the overtone series... ...holding the sound... ...its ringing... ...sound can be part of meditation... ...the subjection to sound... ...the randomness in it... ...no control... ...In Mindfulness Meditation where the focus is on the breath (oh so easy, so oh so hard!) can also be practiced around sound just as it can on walking and dishes... ...surrender... ...mindful listening asks of the listener to be truly present and hear without judgement...without letting the mind fill in the gaps with stories and comments... ...to be in the ears, listening to the world turn... ...listening...listening to the world... ...listening.

A Mindful Listening Meditation could/should include: 

• silence
• sound
• overtones
• musical phrases
• random intervals
• intervals 
• chords
• harmony
• dissonance

The sitter is asked... ...to listen... ...to hear... ...to be... ...in the sound... ...the silence... ...the car passing outside... ...the dog down the road... ...dissonance... ...consonance... ...silence... ...fly... ...

The plan is: To sit alone... ...listen... ...feel and be present... ...no music just the instrument, sound, ears. To sit for ten minutes. For fifteen minutes. Twenty minutes. Half and then three quarters of an hour. An hour.

That is the plan.

A lot going on so: walking, playing, yoga, meditation.

But yes, that is the plan.

Harp Wish Lists, Lists and Plans

Harp Wish List

To share the harp and its resonance, sound, its music, its magic with as many as possible with the aim to make the world a less tense and happier place.

To walk with harp to and play harp in as diverse but relevant places for all who want to hear.

To play a diverse repertoire from Mediaeval to Romantic, to intuitive, improvised and folk music.

List (To Do):

Set out route for your first walking tour through West Cork (to start carrying the harp give direction to the walking).

• Historical places
• Pubs and lunch cafes
• Community groups
• Churches
• Hotels
• Health Centers
• Art Centres
• Meditation and Yoga practitioners
• Private residences

Calculate distances and set walking dates. 

Write pitch.

• Title of the walk
• Pitch 
• Route
• Dates
• Contact information 

Start a walking regime and stick to it!

Start Mindful Listening Meditation Practice (and share it!).

Follow up.

Plans

Stick as close as I can to my gut. This is the bit where I get scared and lose faith in what I know...as if it were trivial...of no consequence. I've been reading frantically over the past two days about all the things I might, could, should and shouldn't do as a harp player who is interested in walking and playing, who believes music cannot be shared enough, especially if it is of the live interactive kinda type. 

There's a lot about a lot... ...but there isn't really anyone like me. 

So the plan for now is to go with the original plan, the one I had when I started walking with the harp... Walk and Play; Share and facilitate movement, dialogue, letting go, forgiveness, healing, relaxation and acceptance.

I want to think more about the 'Mindful Listening Meditation' and 'Playing Live for Yoga Sessions', would like to maybe talk to someone who has some experience with similar sessions. But so far my e-mails and messages to different practitioners have gone unanswered. So I'll think about that tomorrow. :)

So the plan is for now all about the Walk and Play'....Walk and Play... ...Walk Away... Walk.... Play.

My job is to play in every place I stop, music that is appropriate to the event and place for all who want to hear . 

My job is to talk about the walking and the playing, to answer questions about being a pilgrim and/or a musician/harper/troubadour. 

My job is to accompany singers and other musician/storytellers/poets/performers. 

My job is to put it out there.

My job is to make it work.

Walk, Play, Direction, Route, Dates, Destinations, Carry Harp, Pitch, Direct, Write, Meditate, Listen Mindfully, Leave Fear, Be Brave, Walk, Play, Talk, Share, Pilgrim, Musician, Harper, Troubadour, Walk, Walk, Play... Carry, Play.

That is the plan.

Walking and Harp Wishes

'We could be fitter...'
' We definitely could...'
'Walk?'
'Always...'
'See how fit we are?'
'Ok.'
'I know the spot.'
'...'
'It always makes me feel like I've had a full body work-out.'
'Ok...'

We drive out to Carrigfadda Church from where we head up hill...Guide Dog Yeltsin doesn't care one bit that the light is dull and it feels a little misty.

There are steps to get up the steep slope...Guide Dog Yeltsin is showing off, bouncing, while my breathing is deepening, my heart starts pumping.

This is it... ...challenges... ...deep breaths and music... ...what was I thinking all this time? Jesus, you'd thing I'd know by now... ...

Yes, step one has been achieved: teaching posters are up. But that isn't the only thing that I need to do. I need to go walk and play as well....

We look behind us, half way up... ...the view isn't as nice as it could be... ...but I'm breathing hard, my legs are definitely alive and there is silence... ...

So walking and playing... ...where to walk to and what and where to play?

Red cheeks, out of breath and sweat pouring I come up with my

 Wish list Walk and Play:

Walk to:

Through West Cork
Dublin to Valencia Island
Mediaeval Road from Dublin to Galway
To every historical site, building in the country
Rome
Jerusalem
The Silk Route from Venice to China


Play where:

Churches
Historical Buildings
Historical Sites
Community Centres
Hospitals
Pubs
Coffeeshops
Libraries
Art Centres
Community Groups
Meditation Groups
Yoga Classes
Festivals
Home

Well...it doesn't sound undoable, hard but not impossible. Maybe I should just trust this thing in my gut that is saying: do it, just do it... you'll be fine...just keep going... ...don't give in to that voice in the back of your head saying: 'But Miss Bakker don't you have bills to pay, responsibilities... ...?'

'How are you now?'
'I'm good. It is beautiful up here...'
'The hard part for me is the next bit: coming down...shame that the weather isn't better...the views on a nice day are stunning!'
'All it means is that we need to come back, I'd love to carry Sean up here and play...but there's now way I can do that now...no way!'
'Well...?'
'Well... ...we'll just have to walk until I can...'

Carrigfadda on a clear spring day... ...it is a date... ...I think my next challenge has just begun.

  

September

It is September.

In September I make decisions, start new things.

In September I feel renewed and energized, full of ideas, ideals, wishes and wonders.

In September I believe that everything is possible this year, it's different, it'll be different, it will be.

In September I start again.

This year in September I make a poster. I like it. It has my wish for me on it: students that like working, listening, hearing, repeating. Students that are interested, curious willing to over come. It's all there...on my poster.

And then I wake up and have to hang the darn thing. And of course when I printed it (I decided on colour) the printer became very enthusiastic ... So not only do I have to hang it... I have to hang many of them.

Monday morning I sit, on my chair and think about hanging posters as I chat away and explain myself over and over to all who will listen about all my plans. 

Tuesday morning I shift and shuffle catching up on mail and paperwork, find a heap that really needs to go right here and now and the windows really need cleaning. 

Wednesday morning there is nothing else to do but go out and actively start looking for students. 

'Would it be okay to hang my poster? My music lesson poster? My poster for music lessons? Would it?'

I have made a list of places to hang them:

Schools

Library

Bookshops

Credit Union

Postoffice

Music Shop!

All other friendly places. 

Community College are the first and the only ones to decline my offer of a poster... At reception I am cautioned... and friendly but curtly denied. Competition or outside influences are not welcome, 'I am so sorry, so, so sorry...'

Sure...

I put their poster up in the Polish shop where I am even provided with the pins to hang my wish for motivated students. 

It feels odd having to hang myself like this around the town. But that is what September is like. 

In September I begin new things, start again, begin. 

In September I make decisions.

This September I decide to give more of the harps so their sound is shared with as many as possible. To help make this house, this town, this county, this land, this continent, this world a less tense, happier, place. 

It is September.